NYU, part 4 of 5
Singing on purpose
I wanted to lead, and I was afraid of standing up in front of people. So I signed up to sing.
Context
I have always wanted to lead. I have also always been an introvert, and for a long time I was afraid of being the person at the front of the room. English is also my second language.
The problem
You can’t lead from the back of the room forever. At some point the work requires standing up, speaking clearly, and being comfortable being looked at. I knew that, and I kept finding reasons to put it off.
What I did
In September 2024 I signed up for vocal lessons at school. I chose singing because it was the most uncomfortable version of the problem I could think of.
The lessons started with basics: how to breathe, how to use my voice, how to project without straining. A surprising amount of it carried over to speaking. I learned to breathe properly while talking in English, and that alone made me more comfortable speaking at length in my second language.
Every month, I performed a song I had practiced for a month in front of my classmates. Over time the discomfort turned into practice, and the practice turned into confidence.
I’m still taking lessons. What began as a deliberate challenge turned into something I genuinely enjoy.
The lessons also opened a door I hadn’t expected. Once I’d started taking classes outside my majors, I kept going, and I found film. In film classes I learned how the creative industries actually run, how films are funded, how galleries and cinemas work, and I added a minor in Film Production.
What I learned
Confidence in front of people is not a personality trait you either have or don’t. It’s a skill, and it responds to practice like any other. I had been treating my introversion as a fact about me. It was really a gap in training.
I now look for that kind of discomfort on purpose. Moving to the UK alone at fifteen was the first time. Singing in front of my classmates was a smaller version of the same decision, made deliberately this time.